5 Signs you are tired of your marriage
16th September 2020
5 Signs you are tired of your marriage
Like January, September is a month of renewed energy and new beginnings.
It's the start of the last quarter of the business year, time to shed excess weight for Xmas, the start of a new academic year etc.
After the year we have had so far in 2020 it's no wonder there has been a spike in new divorce enquires this month. If you are thinking about divorce, then this blog may help you decide whether to close the chapter on your marriage and start a fresh one.
5 signs you are tired of your marriage
You are constantly bickering
All relationships have their fair share of rows and it's healthy to express how you feel, rather than keep it bottled up
The kind of disagreements I am referring to are not the ones you can work through and move on.
The disagreements I am talking about are those that are a true reflection of how you and your partner always communicate.
Like you are constantly point-scoring and undermining each other.
For instance, you don't like how your partner stacks the dishwasher, irons or you can never agree on what you are going to do at the weekend. If you have these kinds of arguments most, if not all of the time, then it's a sign something in your relationship is wrong.
AND it's time to do something about it because, to be honest, it's never really about the dishwasher or ironing - it's about the foundation of your relationship.
It doesn't necessarily mean getting a divorce. It could be seeking professional help from outside the marriage such as couple counselling.
You and your partner see the world very differently
Maybe you aren't arguing over the small stuff but you are over the big things. For instance, politics, decisions affecting how you raise your children Your values and principles are just so very different
It's ok to be in a healthy marriage where you can agree to disagree, so long as you respect each other and can make decisions collaboratively.
However, over time these differences may get bigger and become damaging to what was a healthy marriage
Compromises are good, in a healthy relationship, but not at the extent of your soul and core values
You are putting up with bad behaviour
There may be no arguments but that is because you are so sick and tired of it all that nothing matters anymore.
You barely notice how your spouse talks to you. You feel as if your spouse is just another child in the house to take care of. You are weary and whilst you don’t like how things have become it has become “normal”
Marriage is a partnership and you are entitled to an equal partner. Someone who is a co-pilot with you through life’s ups and downs Someone you can trust and depend on.
A partner doesn’t leave or expect you to do all the work. Someone who respects you for you who you are
You have had your eyes opened during lockdown
Lockdown took us all out of our routines. We had to social distance, work from home, homeschooled only leaving home for essentials.
It removed the distractions and busyness of life If you were stuck in a rut pre-lockdown then maybe you realised how much work you do and how little support you get from your partner or that you had little in common with your partner and you really didn’t want this to remain your future.
Perhaps lockdown was the nudge you needed to take action and bring about change.
You know there is more to life than this
The final sign you are tired of your marriage is that nothing is wrong but then nothing is right or great about it.
Ask yourself this:-
Does your spouse treat you well?
Is the amount of conflict and bickering normal in a healthy relationship?
Did lockdown emphasise your unhappiness with your lot in life?
Are you truly happy and fulfilled?
I am not promoting divorce but I am promoting you take note about how you really feel and take action, whatever that action may be and which I will deal with below
So, what now?
If you have related to any of the 5 signs above then it is time to take action and bring about change
It could be couple counselling, it could be time apart or it could be divorce
Don’t rush your decision.
You need to spend time with yourself working out what it is you are feeling and what it is you believe you are missing
You should think about what a better life would look like.
If you decide to divorce then remember you get to take you with you. So, if your unfulfillment is within you, then a divorce will not change this
Is it something you can fix and something within your control?
Perhaps if you set your own boundaries and respect yourself then life may improve in many areas
Would it help to have an open and frank conversation with your partner about how you are feeling? By letting your partner know how you feel there is a possibility that what was broken in your marriage can be fixed Is it something that can’t be fixed because it is outside your control or beyond repair?
Get the right support
If you have reached the conclusion your marriage has broken down irretrievably then getting good legal support early on is crucial for a better outcome
You may also benefit from seeking the support of a professional counsellor if your self-esteem has been reduced to almost negligible over the years
If you would like some legal support to help you end your marriage and regain control of your life then I am here for you. Simply drop me a line