12 Golden Rules for a Successful Divorce
29th June 2020
12 Golden Rules for a more successful divorce
- 1. If you want it, keep it
- It is harder to argue the return of an item than it is to allow someone to keep something in their possession. This applies to the house, the children and belongings
- 2. Don’t waste time and money
- Make a list of questions you want to ask your solicitor and if you are emailing your solicitor make sure you send on email with al
- l your questions not several emails during the course of the day as ideas some to you Make a list of your priorities and concerns and discuss this as early as possible with your solicitor Make a list of your objectives and goals
- 3. Think and Plan
- Marriage and divorce are both expensive so don’t rush into either Make a plan with a your solicitor so you are ACTING not REACTING Prioritise what issues are non negotiable and what issues you are prepared to compromise on. Then do the same exercise from your spouses perspective
- 4. Issue proceedings first
- There are advantages of being the applicant. You get to go first and control the time table
- 5. Temporary arrangements can easily become permanent arrangements
- Don’t be guided by guilt
- 6. Think before you speak, email or post on social media
- What you say, write or post can be used against you later
- 7. Live the life you say you live
- Don’t mislead the court or your spouse Your lifestyle is your evidence
- 8. Don’t lie Now that sounds pretty simple.
- This can be hard especially when the pressure is on, and money and spending time with your children are at stake, it’s tempting to bend the truth. But don’t do it. Do not lie. Lies come back to bite you. The truth will surface. Once the court knows that you lied about one fact they will not believe you when you are telling the truth about other facts. By trying to bend the truth a little in your favour you will give your spouse absolute credibility. Face the truth and deal with it head-on. It will come out better for you in the end.
- 9. Let it Go.
- Once the divorce is final – move on. Put the divorce behind you. Don’t go over what may or may not have been. You’re not going to change the outcome. You have the opportunity of new life to live. So go live it.
- 10. Keep it to Yourself if You Want to Keep it for Yourself.
- After your divorce, your mouth is the best source of information for why your ex-spouse should get more child support If you get a raise, a promotion, a gift, an inheritance, or win the lottery, keep that information to yourself. Bragging about your good fortune will result in you sharing that good fortune with your ex-spouse. During the divorce process, you had to truthfully disclose facts about your income and employment. Now you’re divorced. There is no rule that you have to keep your ex-wife up-to-date on your successes and good fortune. She will want a share of that good fortune. So keep it to yourself and you may get to keep it.
- 11. Think Before You Remarry.
- You just paid a huge emotional and financial price to get divorced. Don’t jump right back into another marriage without a lot of thought. Most quick rebound marriages fail. Think about why your last marriage failed. Think about why this new relationship will work when the old one did not. Wait to remarry until you are confident that this is the right match for the duration.
- 12. Protect Yourself
- If you do decide to move in with someone or remarry consider a cohabitation agreement or in the event of a re-marriage a pre-nuptial agreement to protect what assets you have when you go into the new relationship and/or marriage. Remember the older you are when you divorce the less time you have financially recover from it.